I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
