yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
