The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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