I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
