Screwed.edu
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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