I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She even gives head with a lisp.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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