We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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