I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
