it hurts more in the daytime
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
