wat bout pragnant strippers??
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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