If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
