My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
