what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
