I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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