I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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