I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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