i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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