Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
