I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
