You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Randomize
