Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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