Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
