The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Randomize
