Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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