The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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