First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
you never un-have a 4some
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I enjoy the company of your penis
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
