Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
