never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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