never play flip cup with pint glasses
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
