I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
