Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm too high and old for this...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
