So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
well you can't waste a boner
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
