Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
