I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
