i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
