I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
