Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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