i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
