I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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