sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
