Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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