Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
