His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
