i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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