Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm having to shit out rocks
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
