on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
