either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Randomize
