she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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