The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
