Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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