if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
