If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
