I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
