are you still at the devil's house?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
